I've been thinking lately.  Scary, huh?  :)

Anyway, I've been thinking a lot about prayer lately.  I have to admit, I have a bit of a phobia.  I don't like to pray out loud in front of people.  Whew.  That was a big secret to keep and now it's out!

But there's a reason for it, so I don't think it's technically a phobia.  I just really used that word for effect.  My reason is that, when I pray by myself, I don't use fancy words or formal language.  I just talk to God.  So when I'm in a position where I need to pray out loud, in front of other people, I feel very inadequate.  I'm not comfortable with the fancy lingo, or the 'catch phrases' that other Christians use when they pray.  Not that there's anything wrong with praying this way, for those who are comfortable with it...it's just not for me.  

So when I have to pray in public, I tend to have a hard time coming up with 'the right words.'    I just muddle through with whatever words I can find, knowing that God doesn't care what words I use.  He understands.  

But what about the times when we're alone and we find ourselves so upset, so stressed, or in so much pain that we just cannot pray?  I've been there- have you?  I think we all have.  Fortunately, God knew we'd have this problem and  He provided us with an answer!

"Likewise the Spirit also helps in our weaknesses. For we do not know what we should pray for as we ought, but the Spirit Himself makes intercession for us with groanings which cannot be uttered."  Romans 8:26.

So what does this mean to you?  I know what it means to me.  I used to think it meant praying in tongues.  It could mean that, but I also noticed that it says 'groanings which cannot be uttered.'   The 'cannot be uttered' part makes me think that it's something silent that occurs between the Holy Spirit and God.   And at first, I was thinking that groanings meant our groanings, as the groaning we might make when in pain or stress....but it doesn't say that.  It says the Holy Spirit interecedes with groanings.  So it's the Holy Spirit that is doing the 'groaning.'  Interesting.

Isn't that good news for us?!   I know it is for me.  When I get over-stressed, or am in extreme pain, my brain tends to 'freeze up.'  I can't think, I can't pray, I can't remember scripture.  But God has given me the Holy Spirit and He lives in me.  And that's when He takes over.  He interecedes for me.   With groanings that can't be uttered.  So I don't even necessarily know it's happening!  But I'm covered.  Even when I feel far from God because I am unable to pray.  I'm covered.  So it's okay to just cry and feel comfort from God, knowing I don't have to come up with the words to ask for what I need right then.  I can just rest in His love.

Now THAT is excellent news!

Transformed!

I had some great ideas brewing for my next blog entry last Sunday.  TV Sermons by Creflo Dollar and then Andy Stanley left me inspired...and I was sure I knew what I wanted to write next.  Then I heard the sermon by my own 'Pastor', Jerry, and a whole new message started brewing within me.

Creflo talked about the law vs. love.  How we are to walk in love, and how following the law doesn't make us good Christians if we aren't following Jesus greatest commandments- to love the Lord our God with all our heart, and to love others as we love ourselves.  Then Andy Stanley talked about being a Christian.  His message was a lot like Creflo Dollar's.  He talked about how we treat each other and how we treat non-believers.

Then there was Jerry.  Jerry spoke of transformation.  Becoming separate from the world.  Allowing ourselves to be transformed, to become 'holy.'  Cleaning up our speech (that one was for me), treating our family right, being an example on the job, etc...At first I thought it was sort of contradictory to what Creflo Dollar's sermon had been, because Creflo was telling us not to focus on 'the law' and all the 'do's' and 'dont's' and here was Jerry telling us to 'clean up our act'...so I had to figure out how to reconcile the two in my own mind.

Of course I did.  :)  My own particular vice is my mouth.  Over the years, I have developed a the bad habit of swearing (aka cursing).  Not a great habit for a born-again Christian, but I can curse like a truck-driver when I want to.  But I have been making an effort to turn this over to God and have made great progress.  But I was thinking of how many times I have 'accidentally' sworn in front of someone (it's really embarrassing when I do it in church, too) and said 'oops- well, God's still working on me!'  As if, because I'm free from the law, it's okay to hang on to all of my old  'bad' habits!  And I'm aware there are Christians out there who feel that way.  But do I want to be one of them, or do I want to strive to be what God wants me to be?  It's the latter, of course.

So I realized I've got to clean up my act!  Now pay careful attention, because this is where the reconciling of the two sermons comes in.  You see, the thing is, God doesn't want or expect me to do this on my own.  He doesn't want me to stop cursing in my own power, in order to just follow the 'letter of the law.'  He doesn't want my walk to be based on rules and do's and dont's.  So what about Jerry's message of transformation and holiness?

Good question.  What God wants is for me to be transformed by the renewing of my mind.  (It's in the Bible somewhere, I promise!)  God wants me to choose to let go of my sins and my bad habits and lay them at His feet.  He wants me to turn them over to Him.  I can't change, I can't transform, I can't become holy in my own power, through my own efforts.  But I can through Him.  I don't have to stop swearing on my own and that is good news, my friend, because that is a hard habit to break!

So does that give me license to keep swearing & cursing until God transforms me?  Can I just keep on saying 'Oops, God's still working on me?'  Of course I can, but do I want to?  Not really.  I realize that I need to be putting a sincere effort into continuing to turn my bad habits over to God.  He can't change us unless we truly allow Him to change us.  We have to want it.  It's one thing to say we are turning something over to God, but it's another to truly mean it and put forth the effort to work with Him on it.  We cannot do it in our flesh,  we will always fail.  But we do need to make right choices.  I do have the choice as to what comes out of my mouth.  I can choose not to curse when I'm mad...Sure a curse word may truly slip out once in awhile, accidentally, but that doesn't give me license to 'accidentally' swear whenever I feel like it, just because I can say 'God's working on me....'

So we're back to Jesus' two greatest commandments...Love the Lord your God with all your heart, and loving one another as we love ourselves.  If I love God with all my heart, why would I want to do anything to hurt him?  Why would I want to use curse words when I'm upset, rather than praying to Him?  And why would I want to sin against my neighbor if I am loving Him as myself?  You see, these two commandments are the answer!  These commandments are the key to our transformation.  When we truly follow these commandments, we will be transformed.  Isn't that exciting!  We don't have to focus on the letter of the law, all the do's and dont's, and worry whether we're getting it right.  We just have to love the Lord our God with all our heart and love our neighbor as ourselves...and the transformation will take place naturally.

God is good!

Dear Lord,
We ask that you keep pointing us back to your greatest commandments, and help us see that they are the key to true Godly living.  Help us to forgive ourselves and move on when do sin, and to continue to strive to be transformed into the people you want us to be.  Holy, separate, in the world but not of it.
In Jesus' precious name we pray,
Amen

From Hoping to Knowing and Doubts to Trust

Bible Study 'Blog Hop':

“I have summoned you by name; you are mine. When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze. For I am the Lord your God, the Holy One of Israel, your Savior.” ~Isaiah 43:1b-3a

This Bible verse is the topic of my online Bible Study's 'Blog Hop' this week.  And it just happens to quite literally apply to me!  After all, I have just finished my 'waterfall story'- and I quite literally passed through the waters and the river did not sweep over me.  God was there that day and when I called out to Him, he literally washed me ashore, above the waters and out of the river.  (Fortunately I have not had to walk through fire, in a literal sense, though.)

It feels sort of odd to say this, but I feel so fortunate to have gone through that experience.  What seemed like an awful tragedy at the time turned into a huge lesson.  I learned that God WILL BE THERE for me when I call Him.  He is with me always.  He was with me that day when I fell into the waterfall- no one falls from that particular waterfall and survives.  It's a locally known fact.  The waterfall has been closed off to the public since then because of that fact.   It is a hard to access, very tall and powerful waterfall, not just a rapids.  So I know beyond the shadow of a doubt that it was no 'stroke of luck' that I survived- it was God's mighty hand!

So how can I have gone through something like that and witnessed God's protection and love for me in such a tangible, powerful way, yet still become shaken when a life circumstance challenges me?  Because I'm human.  My humanity causes me to be afraid, afraid of being hurt, afraid of dying, afraid of a lot of things.  My humanity clings to my flesh as it's hope.  My flesh as it's life.

But my life is not in my flesh.  My life is in my relationship with my Lord.  My life is in my spirit, my soul, the things you can't see.   This part of me knows God, knows I can trust Him. This part of me is the part that cries out to God for help....and it's my humanity that is surprised when help arrives, again and again.  Go figure.

So I choose to tend to my spirit, nourish my soul with the word of God.  I choose to worship Him and pray continually.   And when I am afraid I will cry out to Him.  I will choose to trust Him to rescue me when I find myself in trouble and I choose to believe He knows what is best for me through it all.

And someday, maybe just someday, I will find that I am not so surprised when He steps in and saves me from my trouble.  I hope that someday instead of saying  "Wow, that HAD to be God- look how it all worked out," I'll say "Praise God, I never doubted that He had it all under control all along."

Dear Lord-

I pray that my trust in you would continue to grow more and more each day.  I ask that my 'hoping' would turn to 'knowing' and my doubts into trust.  And I ask this in Jesus' precious name.

Amen