Rest. In repentance and rest is your salvation, in quietness and trust is your strength. ~Isaiah 30:15b (NIV)
Those who know me know that I've actually mastered the art of 'rest.' I have really developed this 'talent' out of necessity, to be honest with you.
I have suffered from severe chronic depression for the past 15 years off and on. Depression saps the strength out of you and to others it looks like all you are doing is 'resting.' Truth be told, with the inner turmoil you are battling, you are doing anything but resting.
Technically I carry a diagnosis of Bipolar. I'm on meds to help stabilize my moods, but having lived a fairly sheltered life for the past 5 years, I'm finding it tiring to be around people in social situations again. Not to mention, personality-wise, I am an Introvert. This means that being around people tires me out, it drains me, even when I'm at my best. It exhausts me. After one intense meeting or event that last a couple of hours, I have had enough and have to go home and.....you guessed it! REST.
And then I look around at other people's lives. Everyone around me seems so busy, going here and there and doing like twelve things in a day! And part of me feels ashamed because I can't do the same. I have tried. Over and over again, and it doesn't end well. I don't 'burn out' like normal people do. When I 'burn out' I end up on the psych ward of the local hospital. So to me, making sure I get as much rest as I need to stay stabile is an important priority.
But is rest out of necessity the same as rest that the 'rest' that this verse speaks of? 'In quietness and trust is your strength." I'm not sure. I guess maybe it has to do with what you are doing with your rest. Sometimes my rest consists of watching TV. I don't think that's what God is talking about in the verse! Other times my rest consists of just spending time with Him. Just being quiet and listening for His voice. Singing with my favorite worship music. Studying His word...I think that's probably the rest He is speaking of.
Nevertheless, there are days when I just watch TV all day. It's not what's best and not what He necessarily desires for me, BUT He knows I'm 'getting there.' So I guess as I write this, I am learning that I have something to continue working on. How much more productive will my rest be if practiced the way God intended, rather than with my old habits? Guess I'll find out as time goes on...
Wednesday, April 24, 2013
Wednesday, April 17, 2013
Then they cried to the Lord in their trouble, and he saved them from their distress. Psalm 107:19 (NIV)
Story of my life!
I started getting into 'trouble' shortly after getting saved, back in 1987. I was a new Christian and very excited about the Lord, my new life, and life everlasting. So when two friends from Campus Crusade for Christ came one sunny spring day and asked me how I'd like to go sightseeing at a local waterfall (Douglass Houghton Falls in Michigan's Upper Peninsula), I said "Of course!"
Now DH Falls is not a 'rapids'- it's a straight up and down, very tall waterfall. We had to climb down into a deep ravine to get to the river below so we could view the falls up close from the bottom. At the side of the falls was a rock wall with a neat little cave. Of course, instead of exploring the cave, I decide to climb the rocks and perch myself ABOVE the cave. Once at the top of the cave, my friends started yelling 'come down- you're going to FALL!' Being the eternal rebel, I laughed and climbed higher....until my foot slipped. I still remember that exact feeling- where I put my left foot I felt gravel rather than solid rock, and my foot slid a bit, then even more. And then suddenly I was tumbling, bouncing off the rocks, grabbing at anything I could grab at, and then plunging over the edge into the icy, churning water below. I do remember thinking "I'm going to die," but not having any fear.
As I pondered the fact that I was still alive, I didn't have much time to rejoice, as the rushing waters ruthlessly washed me down stream. I grabbed at rocks and tree limbs, but everything seemed to slip away. Just as I was giving up and thinking I was going to float downstream forever and eventually die, I washed up on to a large rock. It was as though by giving up on trying to do it myself, I was able to let God work a miracle and save my life. And that He did! I had just fallen approximately 60 feet, tumbled down a rock wall into the base of a vicious waterfall, been washed downstream with a severely broken arm and leg, very nearly drowned, and yet survived. That, my friends is God responding to His own when they call out for help!
So as the emergency crews hauled me up from the ravine in what looked like a toboggan, I sang praises to God. I felt nothing but joy. Sure I may have been in shock and a bit delirious, but I was praising God just the same! (As a matter of fact, my college roommate knew one of the guys who helped rescue me that day and the rescuers apparently had assumed I was on drugs because I was so happy rather than what you'd normally 'expect' from someone in an accident like that.) Nevertheless, I sang and praised God as loudly as I could all the way to Marquette General Hospital, where begins the next phase of my story....
But that's for another day. :)
((As a side note: After my fall, my parents remembered something that was said during my college orientation regarding being careful around the local waterfalls. The comment was made that one student each year usually falls and dies. As of right now, this particular Falls is now closed off to the public and has been for many years because of so many deaths...even since it's been closed, there have been deaths. I'm proud to say that because of God's Hand, I may have been that one that fell, but my name has not been entered into the statistic books as one who died.))
Story of my life!
I started getting into 'trouble' shortly after getting saved, back in 1987. I was a new Christian and very excited about the Lord, my new life, and life everlasting. So when two friends from Campus Crusade for Christ came one sunny spring day and asked me how I'd like to go sightseeing at a local waterfall (Douglass Houghton Falls in Michigan's Upper Peninsula), I said "Of course!"
Now DH Falls is not a 'rapids'- it's a straight up and down, very tall waterfall. We had to climb down into a deep ravine to get to the river below so we could view the falls up close from the bottom. At the side of the falls was a rock wall with a neat little cave. Of course, instead of exploring the cave, I decide to climb the rocks and perch myself ABOVE the cave. Once at the top of the cave, my friends started yelling 'come down- you're going to FALL!' Being the eternal rebel, I laughed and climbed higher....until my foot slipped. I still remember that exact feeling- where I put my left foot I felt gravel rather than solid rock, and my foot slid a bit, then even more. And then suddenly I was tumbling, bouncing off the rocks, grabbing at anything I could grab at, and then plunging over the edge into the icy, churning water below. I do remember thinking "I'm going to die," but not having any fear.
As I pondered the fact that I was still alive, I didn't have much time to rejoice, as the rushing waters ruthlessly washed me down stream. I grabbed at rocks and tree limbs, but everything seemed to slip away. Just as I was giving up and thinking I was going to float downstream forever and eventually die, I washed up on to a large rock. It was as though by giving up on trying to do it myself, I was able to let God work a miracle and save my life. And that He did! I had just fallen approximately 60 feet, tumbled down a rock wall into the base of a vicious waterfall, been washed downstream with a severely broken arm and leg, very nearly drowned, and yet survived. That, my friends is God responding to His own when they call out for help!
So as the emergency crews hauled me up from the ravine in what looked like a toboggan, I sang praises to God. I felt nothing but joy. Sure I may have been in shock and a bit delirious, but I was praising God just the same! (As a matter of fact, my college roommate knew one of the guys who helped rescue me that day and the rescuers apparently had assumed I was on drugs because I was so happy rather than what you'd normally 'expect' from someone in an accident like that.) Nevertheless, I sang and praised God as loudly as I could all the way to Marquette General Hospital, where begins the next phase of my story....
But that's for another day. :)
((As a side note: After my fall, my parents remembered something that was said during my college orientation regarding being careful around the local waterfalls. The comment was made that one student each year usually falls and dies. As of right now, this particular Falls is now closed off to the public and has been for many years because of so many deaths...even since it's been closed, there have been deaths. I'm proud to say that because of God's Hand, I may have been that one that fell, but my name has not been entered into the statistic books as one who died.))
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