Rest. In repentance and rest is your salvation, in quietness and trust is your strength. ~Isaiah 30:15b (NIV)
Those who know me know that I've actually mastered the art of 'rest.' I have really developed this 'talent' out of necessity, to be honest with you.
I have suffered from severe chronic depression for the past 15 years off and on. Depression saps the strength out of you and to others it looks like all you are doing is 'resting.' Truth be told, with the inner turmoil you are battling, you are doing anything but resting.
Technically I carry a diagnosis of Bipolar. I'm on meds to help stabilize my moods, but having lived a fairly sheltered life for the past 5 years, I'm finding it tiring to be around people in social situations again. Not to mention, personality-wise, I am an Introvert. This means that being around people tires me out, it drains me, even when I'm at my best. It exhausts me. After one intense meeting or event that last a couple of hours, I have had enough and have to go home and.....you guessed it! REST.
And then I look around at other people's lives. Everyone around me seems so busy, going here and there and doing like twelve things in a day! And part of me feels ashamed because I can't do the same. I have tried. Over and over again, and it doesn't end well. I don't 'burn out' like normal people do. When I 'burn out' I end up on the psych ward of the local hospital. So to me, making sure I get as much rest as I need to stay stabile is an important priority.
But is rest out of necessity the same as rest that the 'rest' that this verse speaks of? 'In quietness and trust is your strength." I'm not sure. I guess maybe it has to do with what you are doing with your rest. Sometimes my rest consists of watching TV. I don't think that's what God is talking about in the verse! Other times my rest consists of just spending time with Him. Just being quiet and listening for His voice. Singing with my favorite worship music. Studying His word...I think that's probably the rest He is speaking of.
Nevertheless, there are days when I just watch TV all day. It's not what's best and not what He necessarily desires for me, BUT He knows I'm 'getting there.' So I guess as I write this, I am learning that I have something to continue working on. How much more productive will my rest be if practiced the way God intended, rather than with my old habits? Guess I'll find out as time goes on...
Thank you so much for sharing this!!! So many times people misunderstand rest for laziness for so many reasons, and depression is truly exhausting. You will keep "getting there," good luck on your journey! God bless :)
ReplyDeleteThank you so much!
DeleteThank you for your honesty and sharing. Although, I havent't always had this problem lately I have been suffering from overwhelming anxiety and it's taken quite a toll on me. I'll be sure to pray for God's healing hand on your situation.
ReplyDeleteI can so relate!! Even my own sister has implied that I am lazy. My depression isn't as severe as yours, and I get the only taking so much of the outside world before you are exhausted. Also, being real is one of the things that I strive for myself. Thank you for allowing me to see I am not alone. May God bless you and help you on your journey and future endeavors.
ReplyDeleteOh, to master the art of rest! I find it to be quite the balancing act, sometimes a daily battle...I have a very task-oriented personality; and during very busy seasons of life, I can get somewhat compulsive with 'getting things done' and 'staying on top of it'. I also have a hard time being able to relax if the house is out of sorts. However, I remember reading some years ago in a parenting magazine, that a person will actually accomplish more and be more effective if they choose proper rest and a full night's sleep over using every ounce of energy to accomplish all those tasks. Also, pregnancy is difficult for me in the respect that I am a moderate to high-risk pregnancy, so I have literal doctor's orders to keep my feet up and REST! I know that taking care of myself is the best way to take care of the baby...but it is so hard for me not to push my limits if I'm feeling good! I think the balance comes in in the respect that I never enter a place of pure complacency and do nothing or very little ever...I still have a husband and children, and things I am able to (and should) accomplish without going overboard and being o-k with not always checking off every task on my list (pregnant or not). Thanks for sharing, Melissa!
ReplyDeleteBeautiful post. I have a relative with bi-polar and it is a very misunderstood disease. Thank you for sharing. I will keep you in my prayers.
ReplyDeleteThank you for opening up your personal life to us and sharing your struggles. I am familiar with bipolar and am working on my master's in psychology where I am learning more about it, but textbooks do not tell you all of the details. It helps to hear from others about their struggles in order for us to get a better picture.
ReplyDeleteThank you for sharing. I can see why others say you are "real", and your honesty about what you go through daily will show others that they are not alone, possibly helping them to open up also. We all need to matter the art of rest, and resting in God's presence will restore, refresh, revitalize, renew, and rejuvenate us.
ReplyDeleteGod bless you sweet lady!
Robin-OBS Leader