Will the REAL Christians please stand up?!

I was 'saved' (aka 'born again') when I was only 18 years old.  And right from the start, I was on fire for God...I immersed myself in the word, Christian music, and anything else I thought would bring me closer to God.  I hung around other Christians and went to church any time the doors were opened...

My first husband was also a Christian.  He and I found a big Charismatic church with great people, great music, and an extremely charismatic Pastor.  We loved it there.  Yet as the years went on, we started to see things, small things, that concerned us.  For instance, when I had my first son, we were in a service one day and I took him into the 'crying room'.  I then pulled out a bottle and proceeded to feed him.  The other mothers acted strangely, almost snubbing me.  Later on, I was told that the crying baby room was only for nursing moms.  It seems that women who breast feed could do so in public, if they wanted, but a bottle feeding Mom wasn't welcome amongst breast feeding Moms.  Disapproval.  That hurt.

As time went on, a lot of unspoken 'rules' emerged.  For instance, you were not supposed to go to an MD when you were sick- everyone went to the Chiropractor that attended our church.  For everything- it seemed that going to an MD showed lack of faith in God.  Go figure.  On, and then there was the whole TV issue.  We were challenged by our pastor to do a 'TV fast' for a month.  So we did, no TV at all for a month.  Once the month was over, he asked us to extend our TV fast to an entire year.  Not too long after that, we were listening to a sermon and my husband and I both heard the pastor say the words "I was watching the news last night..."  So he wasn't practicing what he preached.

These are only the small things, the things that are easy to fit here.  There was so much more.  So much more hypocrisy.  I hate hypocrisy.

So we finally quit going to church and both of us never went to church for many years after that.  We'd been hurt and we knew it wasn't God himself who hurt  us.  It was the church.

And as the years went on, and the kids grew, and another hubby and went, I did go to a service here and there, always in a Pentecostal church.  I loved the Pentecostal/Charismatic churches. But after the point where I 'came out of the closet' I knew I'd never be welcome in a church again.  I knew that I'd have to hide who I was to be welcomed into a Christian church.  I knew that even if I hid who I was to get into the doors of a church, I'd most likely have to hear a sermon about how the 'gays' are going to hell and they are the ones who are dooming the world to God's wrath....I knew this, because I'd heard it before.

And if I felt this way, how many other gay people feel the same?   It  hurts me to the depths of my soul to think that a hurting person, who happens to be gay whether they like it or not,  should feel unwelcome in any Christian Church.

When I finally found a church I thought was 'different', I started attending and getting involved.  I never hid the fact that I was gay, but I didn't advertise it either.  However, as time went on, I felt the Lord working on my heart.  He was changing me, he was changing my desires...he was able to do what I couldn't do on my own.  I was no longer gay.  I can say, by nature, I was born gay, but God in His infinite power, did what no man could do on their own power- he delivered me.  His message to me was "I'm giving you the desires of your heart."

I am really grieving right now.  Over the whole issue of the Boy Scouts allowing gay members and as I saw on the news, that 'Conservative churches' will most likely not allow B.S. meetings at their churches because of this.  To me, it shouldn't even be an issue.  If you have a B.S. meeting at your church and a gay boy attends, then what of it?  Shouldn't it be considered a good thing that this boy is in a church?

I want to make it clear that I am not condemning my own church.  I don't know the full story of anything regarding this issue and my church.  I am grieving over the fact that it's an issue at all....in any church, anywhere.   

People are telling me to get over it.  I can't.  I just want to shout out "Will the REAL Christians please stand up?"  Because real Christians show love and compassion, to those who are unsaved, as well as their fellow church mates.  Real Christians don't build walls between themselves and sinners, to keep the sinners out.  Real Christians do as Jesus did and welcome them, tell them they love them and Jesus loves them...